We must Resist ! The reasons being are vast and many because... just, uh, because !
When we celebrate the upcoming Dependence Day, I want every man woman and child to stand strong and proud of all that they have achieved on the shoulders of the humbled middle class. From Sea to Shining Sea, we will neglect those annoying in between flyover states of rust and amber waves of grain. They have brought nothing but soaring unemployment statistics to once again marginalize the policies of unionization we were certain would bring unending Utopia to the common man. We demand solidarity. No matter how splintered the worker collective becomes, it shows that we all must pay the price of Global harmony. It is Our American way.
It is absolutely necessary these things we fight for. To diminish one man's life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in order to enhance one other's is just and fair. Necessary it holds also to separate the rich cultural melting pot of our nation into distinct groups making each as easily homogeneous as oil and water. Each of the ingredients in this robust soup of American values must be clearly labeled, put back on their respective shelf, kept within arm's reach, ready to be used at our beck and call. We will keep each individual's solidarity and allegiance as we progress with an ambiguous instigation of class warfare and accidental aggressive segregation. That is who we are.
In the profound wisdom of our fondling fathers, William Jefferson Clinton, Barack Hussein Obama and the brave and brazen Socialist that refused to hide behind the moniker of Democrat, well a little, Bernardo Southpaw Sanders; “To each man Give us your liberty, or give us death. Just give us something." "These things we made self evident, that each man is created equal and if they choose lethargy perpetually after that glorious day of birth, surviving nine months of non-human existence, we will nourish that complacency with the harvest of the laborious. That is who we are ! Fundamentally changed for hope and the progressive way. Oh Yes We Can !"
These Robbing Hoods, unsung heroes practicing the illusion of social justice, have proven that a collapsing economy, they created, can be shored up through the likes of NAFTA, China's IMF acceptance and soon the mathematically necessary TPP. Temporarily expanding the purchasing power of every working man, woman, manwoman, womanman, even the manchild that has already lost their gainful employment to automation and the same new suppliers of these crucial goods. Though, once these workers wish to move out of their corrugated plastic government housing, temporary slavery of these starving 3rd world nations is bound to collapse, we stand strong in our dedication to proven false economy. The concept of reciprocal effect is one that must be ignored if our confidence is to remain high.
Fair, extremely heavy taxation of those domestic industrialists that control our futures carries the wisdom of the ages. Knowing that these incidental costs of commerce will be handed down fairly to each and every citizen will create a unified level of lifestyle for a singular class of dependents. The elites that once profited from the labor of the middle class, will continue to do so with a humbled workforce that is willing, able and hungry to work for far less. Ask not for a fifty hour work week, ask for a thirty hour subsidized lifestyle. Ask not for wage increases, ask for health insurance premiums being paid for you. No one man can bare to pay the price of health care now that the vault doors have been opened to a fair and generous monopoly of health providers. Dividing up states fairly so as not to cut each other's money grubbing capitalist throats. The cooperation among these giants have proven we can all get along, given the right motivation. One For All !
To protect the longevity of this ambiguous servitude and redistribution of wealth via the brokers of a strong central government's collection agency, the IRS, we must disarm those that may become angered or hungry during this societal enhancement experiment. It is for their own well being.
Such brave and sometimes unselfish souls,this diverse oligarchy, explorers of reality's limits. Immigrants from as far away as Kenya, with the help of Naive American Pocahontas, void of moccasin, to guide them while pushing the boundaries of reason far into previously unexplored barren wilderness. Hail,Hail to each of these great architects of anarchy, framer’s of the opposition, catalysts to the corrosion of personal dignity once safeguarded by that annoying capitalist christian document that set the foundation for longevity, a thriving republic and a safe nation. Constitution Schmonstitution...
The Fresh American Way ! We Are Exceptional ! We are the new breed of Socialists ! Eventually Accidental Communists But We'll Do That The Right Way Because We're Americans and We're Exceptional ! Did I already Say That ?
I hope somebody bought play-doh, let the celebration begin !